Ok , so I haven't blogged in a long time.....


Today, if you asked me if I am ok I'd tell you I was but honestly I'm really not. On the inside I feel like exploding from the frustration that I have allowed to be my life. You would not believe the incomplete thoughts that spin in my head each day. Its the most frustrating thing. Many say,   It's up to me make good changes in my life, I know that, what it has yet to happen, I cannot even tell you.
I have struggled thru out my late 20's and mid 30's with everything you can possibly come up with , Jobs, depression, ADHD, money, self-esteem, weight, the list goes on and on I  believe that fear, fear of failing, rejection and not being accepted is  the cloud that hangs over my head on a daily basis. A lot of people may say, YOU? Tara? no way. Yes way.
I cannot seem to ever get myself together , no amount of meds, dr's, etc... will ever get me out of  the hole that I have been digging for such a long time. I know , deep down, it's, me. Im my own worst critic, enemy, judge, and all that goes with it.
God is waiting on me, and I am not sure what the hell i'm supposed to even do. Im so tired of fighting . I just wanna raise my white flag and give up. Often times I feel like I have.